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boarding school, Christmas, Christmas tree, Family, Holiday, Home, Houses, midshipmen, Naval Academy, Norman Rockwell, Sanford Naval Academy, siblings
The ghost of Christmas past haunts us all.
My early Christmas rituals occurred in a snowy city, with aunts and uncles, neighbors and friends gathered at my grandparents’ dining table…It was pure Norman Rockwell.
However, in 1971 my parents migrated to a new home on the southern shore of Lake Monroe in Sanford, Florida. After 28 years in the Navy, my father retired and accepted a position as Commandant of the Sanford Naval Academy, a private boarding school for boys in grades 6-12.
Norman Rockwell never painted this one.
I’d never had a brother – at least, not a biological one – but I acquired 150 of them as a 14-year-old freshman in high school.
For a time, boarding schools – with small class size, structured environment and 24-hour supervision – were Southern parents’ primary vehicle for raising young gentlemen who embodied the values of integrity, honor, duty and service to others.
The Sanford Naval Academy used a military structure to achieve that mission: Develop young men of character. The routine of class, physical activity, military training and study varied little from day to day. Midshipmen were responsible for the cleanliness of their room, for shining their shoes and for taking care of their uniform. For many, these were alien activities prior to arriving at the school.
Admittedly, at their age I was more inclined to read “Seventeen” magazine than worry about shiny shoes. Yet, I felt a connection to those midshipmen, my gray, pleated, Catholic-school uniform looked remarkably similar to the gray uniform pants and shirts the midshipmen wore. We were all prisoners, of sorts, living a kind of life we would not have chosen for ourselves. My father the “Commandant,” perhaps, was the ultimate prisoner of a second career that fell short of his life as a naval aviator.
When the school emptied of students during Christmas break, his nightly ritual of scotch, consumed in a reclining chair facing the television, drove my mother and me from our small apartment on the first floor to search for something festive.
We found it in the lights on the 20-foot tree, which glowed brightly in the middle of a deserted “Quarterdeck”- originally built as the lobby of a resort hotel called the Mayfair Inn.
Seating areas in the far corners of the room disappeared in the dark, along with offices, classroom doors and a stairway leading to the upper floors. Surprisingly, the illuminated area surrounding the tree seemed cozy as my mother settled on one couch and I, on another, basking in the Christmas lights.
When it came to enjoying holiday decorations at the Sanford Naval Academy, it was either a feast or famine: The small tree in our claustrophobic apartment or the enormous version in the deserted school lobby. Odd that both spaces felt equally empty, lacking in the humanity that gives holidays special meaning.
Yet a Christmas tree alone does not a holiday make. That came in the form of the young gentlemen-in-training, who arrived at our door in the evenings under the pretext of questions for my father. In truth, they needed my mother’s attention more, and some semblance of family life.
I never considered myself to be an only child, yet the seven-year age gap between my sister and me made it seem so. She left for college when I was in elementary school and, by the time we got to Sanford, she was living in Boston with an engagement ring on her hand.
Magically, our home had filled with new siblings for me. A handful became regular guests at our dinner table, since an invitation from my family provided a chance to escape the “mystery meat” that was served in the school Mess Hall.
Midshipmen joined our family based on some combination of my father’s opinion of them, my mother’s intuition and my tolerance of their friendly overtures. They filled a void we scarcely knew existed and suddenly, they were gone.
The Christmas tree was the last remnant of weeks filled with cookies, gift exchanges and Santa’s arrival at an ice-cream-and-cake party hosted by the Naval Academy for 60 children from the Methodist Children’s Home. It provided a backdrop for photos during the Christmas Formal dance, where I was escorted by a quiet young man from Mexico with soulful brown eyes. His courtly manners were a welcome change from the attentions of another midshipman from Mt. Pleasant, who had tried to woo me with weed. (Manners were important, indeed, as my mother and father – in his full dress uniform – also chaperoned the dance.)
Those activities had lessened my “transplanted Yankee” loneliness and filled me with a sense of family far greater than the one I had been born into. The midshipmen needed us as much as we needed them.
New rituals replaced our Norman Rockwell Christmas. Yet that night, I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that we’d been jettisoned in favor of the boys’ real holiday, the one spent with family members who shared their name.
Sitting in the empty Quarterdeck on Christmas Eve, we wondered aloud about their homes, their parents — if they might miss us, too, when they returned to their native habitats. My mother, surely wondering how she came to be married to a man who drank himself to sleep each night in front of the television. And I, missing the young men who had become such a part of our family — until they joyfully abandoned us to return to their biological ones.
The temporary nature of our bonds became clear that night, as the Christmas tree shimmered with blue and gold ornaments above “gifts” wrapped in shiny metallic paper. And I knew the boxes that lay beneath it were as empty as my heart.
(The Sanford Naval Academy was established in 1963 by The Bernard Macfadden Foundation and closed its doors in 1976. My new book, “The Anchor Clankers,” will be released in 2017 by Southern Yellow Pine Publishing.)
Julie Whitney said:
I LOVE this, Renee! I couldn’t stop reading it!!!
Can’t wait to read more!
Great work!
👍❗
Roxanne O'Moore said:
Renee, my extraordinary, big Sis. This was an incredible read for me on so many levels. First, I had no idea. Certainly this type of thing wasn’t what we were talking about as college co-eds. Now with us having lived so many miles apart all of our adult lives, we talk about the things you do as adult mothers and wives to get caught up in the short time that we have. Secondly, I was reminded what an incredible writer you are and am so glad that you’ve found vehicles to share your gift. Love you!
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Any trip down “memory lane” is filled with emotional potholes that one normally tries to avoid. I find it harder to chronicle my own life than to write about someone else’s…too many years spent as a trained observer, I guess. I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter, ‘Lil Sister. I’m searching for a literary agent – perhaps you know one in California?!
Neil C. said:
Awesome to read and find this story on the web as I too share some of those memories as a young midshipman of that Christmas when we entertained the children from the Methodist Childrens Home of Enterprise, Fl. We were all worried that Capt. L would “hang us by the ba**s on the quarterdeck”..(LOL). I remember that pretty blonde though, especially when she was a cheerleader (hi Renee). I wouldnt trade the memories of SNA from 1969/70 -75 for anything in the world. PEACE.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Thank you, Neil. When did you graduate? (And what is your last name?!) I attended the SNA reunion last October in Sanford to jog my own memory. I’ve been writing a Young Adult fiction book based on my experiences living at the Naval Academy and the alumni have been a tremendous help! I wish my parents were still alive to “fill in the blanks” for me, but they’re both at Arlington National Cemetery, now.
Nichole Patraw (@thebookishfairy) said:
Hi! I got your book blogs message so I thought I’d stop by and give you a follow! If you are interested, I post book reviews, cover reveals and any other bookish topics that are on my mind at The Bookish Fairy (http://lostinabooknook.blogspot.com/). I would love it if you followed me back 🙂
-Nichole
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Thanks, Nicole – I’ll visit your blog soon!
Maison Bentley Style said:
Loved reading this. It’s strange what makes a Christmas..I threw out the idea of the food as a focus this year and it was so much better.. xxx
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Every year, I alter my expectations of the holiday a little bit. As our children grow older, our Christmas traditions change, too.
Jon Sarubbi said:
Nice article…looking forward to reading your book. Jon SNA 70′
Jim Byl said:
Renee – I knew your sister Murn and her husband Rick very well. I was stationed with them in Albany GA in 1972. I and another shipmate came down with them 2 or 3 times and stayed at your house. Your dad would drink us under the table every night telling sea stories and once your mom gave me some wonderful TLC when I burned my back very badly swimming at the Academy pool. Please say hi to your sister for me (I was secretly in love with her). Also, your mom was a very sweet person. Loved your article, I have great memories of those far off days. Central FL is so different today.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Thanks Jim, but I think you may have my family confused with the commandant prior to my father’s arrival – Commander Bill Shea. My sister’s name is Michelle and her husband is Walter.
Jim Byl said:
Oops, sorry about that. The Sheas must have remained in Sanford because my visits would have been Feb – April of 72 time frame. Sounds like Capt Shea and your father both liked to drink, as did I for a time. 43 years ago as we speak. Yikes! Anyway, thanks for the memories.
Alan Mintz said:
The hour’s late and my eyes bleary but it seemed a quixotic spur of synchronicity and silliness to ping you Renee. Earlier this eve a pleasant recollection made me surf about to find some of the knuckleheads I went to school with at SNA in 1971 as a sophomore. That made us peers of sorts, I was one of those wiry youth in pressed grey uniform, shiny shoes and polished brass.Those were certainly unusual times (Viet Nam, 7 day war in the middle east, Nixon, rock & roll, hippies and all that entailed – YIKES!) and what a cast of characters at SNA. I was glad that the “Officer and Gentleman” morale was an unspoken mainstay but a palpable fact. This demeanor top down made my time there respectful, I never saw any abuse of power among the midshipman. Ironic compared to the violent idiocy available in public school’s fraternities – now appropriately called gangs. I persevered for 1 year, engaged in sports and academics, despite my father’s comment when he dropped me off “You are not in jail or reform school, this is not a punishment, if at any time you want to leave, just hop on a bus”. But the environment was new, the sports facilities awesome and my life needed a significant change. SNA was an interesting challenge, but one year was enough. I felt I had followed through on a rigorous course and time to regroup in Miami in a less austere lifestyle. As you referred Renee – the discipline and gentleman decorum was a good take away.
Keep spilling ink,.. I look forward to reading some of your blog posts; I’ll look for The Anchor Clankers – aka Seaweed Suckers
Alan
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Your year at SNA must have overlapped my arrival! I’d love to speak with you and compare your experience with mine.
Alan Mintz Halsey Company said:
Rodger that. Can do, will send contact coordinates. 🙂
Otis (Dell) Kirkland Jr. said:
Came across this playing around with google. I was a freshmen at SNA in 74. I was there only for the one year but it was a year I would never want to change! I remember your dad and I’m sure he would remember me, I was a real problem child! My dad was also navy and after he retired he went into education and was my principal in high school, so we have a little in common. I would love to read more about your time at Sanford.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Well, Dell, stay tuned. I’ve written a Young Adult book (fiction, of course) based on my life at SNA. I’ll keep you posted!
James Hardy said:
Someone should do a Timeline on SNA commandants ….
Four Years at SNA and only had one….Capt Spencer.
I knew His office …all too well 🙂
ReneeWritesNow! said:
If you ever see such a timeline, please send it to me!
michael rutigliano said:
Renee , I believe you are looking for me , was Commander Shea your dad ? If so I was the one who spent all my time with your dad as his personal assistant. A great man and friend . We must talk one day. Mike Rutigliano
ReneeWritesNow! said:
My father was Captain LeBlanc, who followed Commander Shea as commandant. I still would love to speak with you about your experiences at the naval academy.
Hardy '70 said:
Guys & Gals
We need a timeline on all the SNA Commandants.
A Story of the Academy without a timeline on the Chief is like talking about the history of the United States without knowing who the Presidents were.
Arthur Annis III said:
Thank you for this story. My dad attended Sanford Naval Academy for a time. I have a copy of his 1972 Islander yearbook.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
I’m sure I met your father since I lived at the academy from 1971-1974. I’m writing a Young Adult novel based on my experiences, there. Please stay in touch.
Ray Hart said:
Reunion October 22 2016 at Marriott. All classes. I graduated 1971 with Cmdr. Shea at the helm. Would love to see a story posted on our website sanfordnavalacademy.com If you could attend reunion it would be great. Please advise as to status of your book.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Ray, I am planning to attend the reunion. I’m currently querying literary agents about my manuscript
Alex "Buff" Chagnon said:
I found your Anchor Clankers article interesting and nicely done. I graduated SNA class of 1969 . Attended SNA 1965 thu 1969 . I’ll be at reunion next week.
…Buff
ReneeWritesNow! said:
I’ll be there, too! Please introduce yourself!
Peggy said:
Unfortunately, alcohol was a big part of Navy life at that time. A very difficult family dynamic to deal with.
pelonstyle said:
Very nice story. Bittersweet sad but honest. I attended SNA for one year 66-67. Remember only two names Larry Johnston and Joe Akra. Feel I was ” sent” there for more discipline well my theory is I learned more bad stuff . Roomed with a boy beyond my years who would sniff Testors glue in bathroom. I did learn yes sir and no sir and make a tight bed. I will look for your book. Thank you for your insight.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Stay in touch – I ‘d like to talk to you for my second book!
Ed Lanman (used to be called Ned) said:
Hi, I graduated SNA in 1972 and was supposed to graduate in 1973. Compared to Culver, it was an OK school. Went from 2 B’s – close to A’s, to 5 A’s and 1 B at Sanford. Like I said, an OK school. Glad I graduated a year early!
Jeff Miller said:
I was an Anchor Clanker in the Junior School of Sanford Naval Academy. I still have my yearbook and often look at it. It prepared me of who I am today. It also assisted me in later years for I went on to the Navy. Needless to say it helped me through boot camp. The military aspect stuck with me.
ReneeWritesNow! said:
I’m sorry that I never visited the Junior School while I lived there. Thanks for sharing.
Jeff Miller said:
Oh…I forgot to say…It was 1970 for me.
Doug Stitt said:
Try this again Doug Stitt here I was there when you were. Sorry I didn’t follow up I was busy getting widowed for 2nd time. I tried to buy ur book but they wanted to give me kindle. I don’t own 1
ReneeWritesNow! said:
Oh, Doug, I’m sorry you had a problem. If you click the link in the title (The Anchor Clankers) it should take you directly to Amazon.com.
David Rosenblum said:
Renee,
A blast from the past! I came across this doing a Google search. It’s hard to believe it has been so many years. I remember you well and remember a visit you paid to my home as a guest of my sister Donna after I had moved on to a private school in Orlando I’ll look for your book and hope it triggers more memories!
David (Plaut) Rosenblum
Phil Burns said:
I enjoyed reading your post. We share some history with the old Mayfair Inn, though at different places on the timeline and with different organizations. I was there in 1977 for six months before I went to Bolivia. I never lived in the old building, but in 1981 I returned to Sanford and worked in an office off the lobby and down the hallway to the east. I lived those three years in a two room apartment next door in the old motel building- used to have two big black wooden anchors on the outside wall, one at each end.
I got married in 2013, and left again for Bolivia where we stayed for 20 years. In 2004 we returned to Sanford to take care of my wife’s mother and I worked on the maintenance team. That work allowed me to see almost every square inch of the building; I’ve been in every room, in the attic, in the crawl space under the building and into more plumbing chases than I care to remember!
In writing my memories of the place, I wanted to clarify some details like when did SNA close and what grades were offered by the school. Your post answered those questions. Thanks!
ReneeWritesNow! said:
I’m glad I could help!