Aging parents and their pets

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aging, Elderly, Family, Home, Homeowner, Memories, Parents, pets

A stray Jack Russell terrier wandered into my mother-in-law’s driveway one Christmas and quickly made a home in her heart. Mom loved having “a furry child” by her side to keep her company throughout the day. She named the dog Joy, which is exactly what the animal brought for more than a decade, comforting Mom through the death of two husbands.
Joy – like most cats and dogs – was very in tune with her owners’ feelings. Pets sense when someone is upset or unhappy and are excellent at providing instant comfort.
She also was a great protector, barking at any perceived threat. Having a dog made my mother-in-law feel safer in her home and may have allowed her to stay there, longer.
Studies have found that owning pets provides health benefits, too, including decreased blood pressure and cholesterol. Even heart attack survivors are more likely to live longer if they have a pet to keep them company. Joy motivated Mom to go outside for walks, which also afforded her a social life as she chatted with other pet parents in the neighborhood.
Yet in addition to being a companion, pets are a responsibility. So when her beloved Joy recently died, my mother-in-law decided not to get another dog. Though having the house to herself seems a little daunting, the 91-year-old admits that she can no longer care for an animal.
Sadly, I am relieved.
Pets need as much love and attention as a child, and eventually that may be too much for an elderly parent to manage. What happens when a pet outlives its owner? Who inherits the animal? Shelters are filled with the sad, sweet faces of pets whose owners passed away. How do adult children plan for the inevitable, with pets and aging parents?

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Comfy on a couch

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Architecture, Community, decorating, Design, Family, Florida, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Humor, Memories

When you live a short drive from “Mickey and Minnie’s house” in Florida, you have overnight guests at least once a month. In the event of a big crowd, a few may even stay on your couch. Here are a few ways to make guests feel comfortable and welcome, even when they’re bunking on a sofa bed:

1. Replace end tables with dressers: Being able to unpack is key to feeling at home. To avoid mysterious piles of clothing in your living area, use a small dresser in place of a traditional end table to give guests space for their things.
2. Clear out closet space: Luggage can take up valuable real estate in tight quarters, so making room for your guest’s luggage in your closet helps both you and them feel better about sharing a small space.
3. Arrange an amenity area: Whether it’s your coffee table or end table, make sure your guests have useful items such as a small fan, an alarm clock and a table lamp within arm’s reach.
4. Stage a plug-in hot spot: Set up a designated charging area for phones, laptops and tablets. That way, guests can recharge at the end of a long day without having to hunt for outlets. Don’t forget to leave your WiFi password.
5. Provide bedding storage: Carve out a place where bedding can be stored during the day so that your sofa can be used while you are entertaining your guests. Try a chest, closet or storage ottoman.
6. Stock the liquor cabinet: Your guests won’t mind their accommodations at all.

 

Look for more inspirational home ideas in Renee’s book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” available on amazon.com

The Entryway

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Architecture, Build, Construction, Design, environment, Home, Homeowner, Houses, real-estate, Residence, Shelter, style

Though you live in your backyard, the world inevitably beats a path to your front door. Well-designed entryways can offer, privacy, light, charm and character to your home – without breaking style or the budget.
A new door, some well-placed windows or a fresh coat of paint can work wonders on a tired façade or an out-of-date entry. According to architect Richard Hartmann, “The ambiance of your home actually starts outside. It’s a whole sequence of events. Meandering through landscaping on a slightly curved path, for example, enhances the experience. ”

Here are a few tips for adding style:

* Add window boxes. They add color to a plain exterior when they’re overflowing with plants or flowers.
* Replace old hardware with brass numbers, handles, a mailbox or kick plate. Ceramic or hand-painted house numbers are good alternatives.
* Add a new front door, sidelights or transom. If you can’t afford to replace the door, add decorative molding around the one you have.
* Use clay pots or sculpture to spark an uninspired entry.
* Add an awning over doors or windows. With Florida’s seasonal rain showers, it’s practical as well as pretty.
* Add carriage lights on either side of the front door or low-voltage path lights along the walkway. They can help bring your best foot forward.

Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof! is available on amazon.com.

A dim view of evening meals

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chandelier, dining room, Home, Homeowner, House, interior design, New Home

Originally designed to hold a number of candles, chandeliers were suspended from the ceiling to reduce the hazard of fire. It’s easy to see how they became the focal point of many rooms – in particular, the dining room.
According to interior designer Alice MacCullough, chandeliers also create ambiance at mealtimes for relaxed conversation.
“The success of this depends on diners being able to see each other properly across the table, without being dazzled or thrown into gloom,” she says.
MacCullough suggests a pendant light suspended from the ceiling, that is just above the eye level of diners to eliminate glare. She also recommends adding a pair of candlestick lamps on the buffet or sconces on the wall.
“Even a torchiere in the corner is nice,” she says. “Lighting is the single most important part of any interior design.”

* Over a dining room table, the bottom of the chandelier should be 30 inches above the table and 12 inches narrower (6 inches on either side) so people won’t bump their heads when rising from their chair.
* If a dining room’s ceiling height is more than 8 feet, raise the chandelier 3 inches for each additional foot of ceiling height.
* Light from a chandelier should not be the only source of illumination – a mistake often seen in dining rooms. Other light sources might include recessed down lights in the ceiling, wall sconces or floor lamps.
* The rule of thumb for a chandelier‘s proper size when not hung over a table: It can be in inches what the diagonal of the room is in feet.
* Positioning a chandelier off-center above a buffet against the wall will make a small dining room appear larger.
* Always install a dimmer switch to control mood and atmosphere.

“Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” is available on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/1490592652/

Better than a lien

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Architecture, Build, Construction, Home, Homeowner, Houses, New Home, real-estate

Life is more complex today. In the past to ensure payment for work, masons secretly would place a glass pane inside the chimney flue to prevent its use. Only after they received payment would the mason climb to the top of the chimney, drop a brick and break the glass.

Excerpted from Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!

Sign me up

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Architecture, book, Conversation, Design, Family, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Memories

Recently I was asked to do a book signing at an upscale boutique in Tampa, Florida. Emails went out to the shop customers, an exterior sign heralded my name, and items appeared in newspaper columns, announcing the event.

I was a bit uneasy about engaging a lot of strangers in conversation, (“Do you need a house-warming gift?”) but it turns out I didn’t need to be: The people who arrived were old friends – some I hadn’t seen in more than a decade – like Fred Rock (pictured above.) They came to congratulate me, to catch up and be supportive. (One even brought the most delicious donuts to tide me over until I could eat a late lunch!)
I was humbled and happy to see each of them.

Today, few friendships survive corporate relocations, divorces or deaths. Virginia Woolf summed it up rather nicely: “I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.”

But I thank God every day for the lasting ones – the people you call when the doctor says “I‘d like to run a few more tests,” or your child moves in with someone you’ve never much liked or trusted.

Funny thing – I’ve no idea how many books were sold last week. I simply know how many friends showed up. And that means so much more…

“Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!” is available on amazon.com.

DaytimeTV

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clothing, Conversation, DaytimeTV, Dreams, Home, Homeowner, Housewarming, interview

When the executive producer of Daytime TV at NBC affiliate WFLA-TV in Tampa invited me to do a segment on my book, I jumped at the chance.

The syndicated show airs in 140 markets and I thought my gift book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” might benefit from the exposure.

Like any good reporter, though, I needed more information. I emailed inquiries about my hair and makeup (“Do your own and come camera-ready”) and my wardrobe (“Slacks are fine, since we don’t know which set we’ll be using: stools or upholstered chairs” ) and finally, my interview questions (“Oh, you know – stuff like why did you write a book about beams?”)

Uh-oh…

It was clear the producer hadn’t read it and my anxiety level started to rise. Had I been asked such a question on air, I would’ve blurted out, “Why, it’s not about beams at all.”

A very bad start to a televised interview, indeed.

The morning that I arrived at the studios, I still was anxious. I interview people for a living, which makes it extremely difficult for me to sit in a chair, ANSWERING questions instead of ASKING them (particularly when I had no idea what might be asked.)

I prefer to go to interviews PREPARED – no matter which side of the notebook I’m sitting on.

A security guard walked me to the “Green Room” where a bowl of snacks, a coffee pot and water cooler waited. But my stomach churned like a Maytag washer , so I skipped the food and settled on a couch. By the time I walked onto the set, my hands were visibly shaking . (I‘m fairly certain that if the doctor filming the segment before me had taken my blood pressure, an ambulance would’ve been called.)

I clenched a copy of the book in my lap like a security blanket and figured, if the questions were horribly bad, I could simply read an excerpt from it to fill air time.

Yet, when hosts Cyndi Edwards and Jerry Penacoli sat in the upholstered chairs next to mine, they quoted me…my words.

“You actually read it?” I asked, incredulously.

I was delighted.

Questions were asked and I answered them – though I have no memory of what I said. The beauty of WRITING a sentence is the ability to rewrite it, to polish the thought , until it sounds exactly the way you want it to. Unrehearsed speech is very, very different and utterly terrifying – kind of like being shot out of a cannon and waiting to land in a safety net.

Miraculously, the four-minute segment ended and I hoped the microphone attached to my sweater hadn’t picked up the pounding in my chest. Cyndi gave me a hug and Jerry asked me to autograph his copy of my book. By the time I reached the parking lot, my breathing had returned to normal.

I’m looking forward to watching the interview when it airs…alone. I hope viewers enjoy it. ( I hope I do, too!)

“Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!” is available on amazon.com

A brush with color

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Architecture, color, Design, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Memories, Paint, style

I’ve discovered my dream job: Naming shades of paint.

Sherwin-Williams offers 1,500 different colors of paint and the Cleveland-based company relies on just one woman to name them all. Jackie Jordan, director of color marketing, draws inspiration from foods, books, song lyrics – pretty much everything.

Jordan has been with the company for 27 years and has come up with more than 10,000 paint names. “Blue Sky,” Cherry Tomato” and “Stolen Kiss” are a few of the easy ones. “Wall Street” refers to a dark gray shade, while “Indulgent” is actually lavender. The intention is for homeowners to develop an attachment to their chosen color.
“It’s an emotional thing,” Jordan says. “People like to have an association with a particular color.”

Most colors have a life span of 10 to 12 years, but the names stick to their respective hues forever. However, they can’t have too many letters or they won’t fit on the a paint card. Names with three or more words are rare, making up only 3 percent of colors.

The longest? “Colonial Revival Green Stone.” (I’d definitely keep ‘em short and sweet.)

Where do I apply?

Dig this!

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Build, environment, Family, Florida, Gardens, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Residence

When they bought their Hyde Park home 34 years ago, Flip and Rick Miller began transforming the backyard. The result is an outdoor refuge where they can rest and recharge in privacy and comfort.
“He’s passionate about trimming,” Flip says with a smile. “He gets his aggressions out.”
“It’s tropical – you have to trim or the plants take over,“ explains Rick, a broker with Smith & Associates Real Estate.
The Millers recall listening to a speech several years ago by the award-winning garden and floral designer Rebecca Cole at the University of Tampa’s GREENFEST luncheon, which raises money for Plant Park.
“She kept referring to ‘vistas’ and ‘sight lines,’ Rick says. “When you stand in any spot in a garden and look in one direction, your eye should be drawn to something.”
Heeding her advice, Rick divided the yard into distinct sections, creating visual vignettes with plants in containers. The double lot which surrounds his home now showcases a series of “outdoor rooms,” featuring large pots packed with his favorite tropical plants and succulents.
“During the summer rains I run home from the office to cover the succulents with our vinyl grill cover,” he says. “They need such little water that a week of afternoon showers will cause them to rot.”
Admittedly “manic about clay pots,” Rick believes every yard needs to have a consistency of design.
“Too many different pots takes the focus away from the plants inside them,” he says.
His meticulous attention to detail paid off: The Miller yard currently is featured in the 2013 edition of Container Gardens magazine.
What is the secret of his success? A dolly large enough to move a refrigerator.
“During hurricanes or freezes we say to hell with the cars and move 50 pots into the garage,” Rick says, grinning.
In addition, gardening in containers makes it easy for him to control the soil type needed for specific plants.
Their backyard is not only a relaxing private oasis, but an exciting entertainment space: The Millers hosted soirees for Las Damas de Arte, The Tampa Museum of Art, Rose Garden Circle, and MOSI – as well as 250 people for a neighborhood picnic.
A playhouse built in 1922 – and enjoyed by three Miller children – was converted to a charming tool shed.
“When our children grew up and moved away, Flip wouldn’t let me take the play equipment down,” Rick says. “I said ‘I’ll show her, I’ll landscape around it.’ I planted beach sunflower which is a tough native perennial. And now we have three grandchildren, who love the swings and the slide.”

Photo by Cliff McBride

Buy good tools and take care of them

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Construction, Homeowner, tools

 

 Tools are basic to history and human development. Take care of them and they will take care of you:

 Don’t wait to replace handles and power cords.

 Try looking in garage sales or the newspaper for great bargains on tools.

 Consider a hardware store at the same level as a university and the people working there as tenured faculty. Students, submit to your teacher!

Always take an honest shot at repairing something before deciding to throw it away.

“Home: Celebrating the Spaces of Your Heart“