Taking care of the caregiver

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Family, inspiration, Life, relationships, Support, Writer

While being a caregiver for an elderly loved one can be deeply rewarding, it can also be extremely stressful. During those moments when my nerves are frayed and my patience is wearing thin, I’ve discovered some helpful techniques to remove myself from the situation and calm down.

How do I keep strong feelings from getting the best of me? I remember to “take five.” Best of all, my little mantra can take many different forms:

1. You could take five (literal) steps back from the situation if your loved one with dementia has become belligerent.

2. Count to five before you answer if you’re stuck in a cycle of repeated questions or comments.

3. Take five whole minutes to yourself (set a timer!) if you’re just worn out. While you relax, put on a calming television program or hand the person with dementia a favorite snack and leave the room.

4. In the evening, of course, you can always try five sips of wine…

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers. She is currently writing the sequel.

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Conversations with strangers

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Conversation, inspiration, Life, read, Writer

A reporter’s notebook is a license to talk to interesting people.

Ever since I declared journalism as my college major, I’ve been striking up conversations with strangers. The notebook gives me a reason—and permission—to do it without feeling intrusive. Since my first reporting job at The Tampa Tribune, I’ve interviewed architects, designers, chefs, inventors, entrepreneurs, authors, activists – even a fashion designer (who paused during our conversation to give me tailoring tips for my suit.)

The interviews I conduct still challenge, inspire, and move me.

A reporter’s notebook is also a ticket to interesting places. Readers want to be taken somewhere, and, as their surrogate, I have “stomped the divots” at polo tournaments, broken speed records in an offshore power boat, drifted over Florida in a hot air balloon, watched the filming of “This Old House” for PBS and sashayed into Playboy Bunny tryouts. The key to bringing these experiences to life, is to convey the details.

Funny how my notebook – such a low-tech device – is the only thing I need to capture the sights, smells, sounds, and excitement of our world.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers.

Memorial Day

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Family, Holiday, inspiration, Life, Memorial Day, relationships

I won’t be spending Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery this year and I feel a little guilty about it. As a child growing up in New England, I remember my family’s tradition of gathering at the cemetery to honor our relatives by straightening tombstones, clearing brush and debris, and finally decorating the graves with fresh flowers. We said prayers for the dearly departed before eating “dinner on the grounds” (quite literally, on a blanket.)

It was a family reunion of sorts – between both dead and living relatives. I never considered it strange that we were picnicking atop the graves of our ancestors. It was simply a peaceful, all-day event, which included sharing stories and laughter.

Today, I live too far away to continue the tradition, but part of my heart will be in Washington DC and Brookline, Massachusetts, on this holiday.

May they all rest in peace.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers.

No dressing room needed

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author, clothing, entertainment, fashion, Humor, inspiration, Life, vacation

During my tenure as fashion editor of The Tampa Tribune, I met a woman who ran a clothing store in a nudist resort.
“Nudists love clothes,” she insisted and I nodded as though the statement made perfect sense. Still, journalistic curiosity got the better of me when she invited me to visit her shop.
Driving through the security gate, I realized I hadn’t considered the potential awkwardness of my situation. I was wearing a linen suit and carrying a reporter’s notebook, which stood out in a sea of nakedness. As a parochial school grad, I admit experiencing initial shock the sight of a mixed doubles game of tennis. (The sight of so many objects bouncing on the court still haunts me.)
However, I now feel qualified to offer a few tips to anyone considering a clothing-optional experience this summer:
– Nude resorts understand it’s natural to look at people. What is not OK, however, is to stare. Like me, if you’re not used to engaging in eye-contact and conversation with someone who’s totally exposed, keep your sunglasses on.
– Nude resort etiquette calls for guests to sit on a towel. Resorts will have them at the ready, but bringing your own beach towel is a great way to easily identify your seat. Grabbing someone else’s towel by mistake isn’t something you want to do at a clothing-optional pool or beach.
– Clothing-optional resorts take great care to ensure their patrons feel safe and comfortable. That’s why many have strict policies around photography, some completely ban smartphones. Seize the opportunity to unplug from technology and relax. Bring a great book to read.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers.

Bark & Breakfast

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author, dogs, Family, Home, inspiration, Life

My favorite houseguests have fur.

My own beloved pooch died one month short of her seventeenth birthday and left a void in my life that nothing could fill. When a neighbor asked if I might help with her dog-sitting business, I happily agreed. With a few stipulations – pets must be non-shedding and under 30 pounds – I’ve played hostess to a number of furry houseguests when their parents go on vacation.

Each time they arrive, they run to me, tails wagging, crying with joy, covering my face with kisses. They are ecstatic to spend time with me.

My own children never greeted me with such enthusiasm.

(Full disclosure: They greet anyone we meet on our walks with the same exuberance, but I am not a jealous person. I can share the love.)

Dogs love to lounge in my lap or sleep at my feet as I tap at my computer keyboard. They make eager editorial assistants and never criticize my work. For a few magical days, they are my biggest fans, my new best friends.

I’m sad, of course, when they leave and my house feels empty again. But I know they’ll probably return for another visit…the best houseguests usually do.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of “The Anchor Clankers.”

Tea for two

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author, Girlfriends, inspiration, Life, relationships, thoughts

Rifling through my pantry this morning, I discovered a small package of loose tea from Harney & Sons American Tea Company. I remember the day I bought it, driving through the Berkshires with my photographer friend, Barbara Rosen. She lost a lengthy and courageous battle with cancer five years ago and the tea was a memory I hadn’t wanted to part with. I wondered if tea ever went bad?

Clicking around their website, I learned that Harney and Sons tea does not have an expiration date, but the company recommends their product be consumed within two years of the “best by date” on the packages. Whoops. “If your tea is outside that window, there’s no harm in consuming it, however, it’s very likely the flavor and aroma will be very subdued.”

Happily, it wasn’t. In fact, it smelled as great as it tasted.

Holding the cup, I missed Barbara a little less and remembered a lot more. She once said, “If you want to reach me, put your hand over your heart and talk. I’m there.” So I did.
Cheers to you, my friend.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of  The Anchor Clankers.

Renee interviews author Talya Boerner

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author, books, inspiration, Life, relationships, Writer, writing

 

Tell me about your background. Where you grew up, where you live now, education, work experience? Share some interesting things about yourself that we should know about.

I grew up on a cotton farm in the Arkansas Delta (where my family goes back five generations). I have an economics degree from Baylor University. For twenty-five years, I lived in Dallas and raised two children while working as a commercial lender. About four years ago (as empty nesters), my husband and I moved back home to Arkansas. We now live in Fayetteville in the gorgeous Ozark Mountains with our two schnauzers, Lucy and Annabelle. I’m editing my next book and working to turn our backyard into a butterfly garden.

What inspired you to write this book? What is the story behind the story?

The inspiration for my book came from my childhood. Although the genre is southern fiction, flashes and situations within The Accidental Salvation of Gracie Lee are autobiographical, inspired by the farm where I grew up and the people who influenced me. One of my favorite writers, Eudora Welty, said, “One place understood helps us understand all places better.” The setting for my book, Mississippi County, Arkansas, is my “one place understood”. The Delta, my small country church, the schoolhouse, the all-encompassing nature of farming—these things inspired me to tell Gracie’s story.

What has been your biggest challenge or obstacle?

Leaving a successful banking career to follow my writing dream felt both exciting and frightening. While the solitary nature of writing fits my personality, I had no idea how difficult it would be to reach readers, to grow an audience, to earn an income from it.

What has been your biggest “aha” moment or success?

My most rewarding moments have resulted from connections made with readers who are eager to tell me that Accidental Salvation took them back to their own childhoods, to places or times they had all but forgotten. Also, having my book featured on NPR’s Arts & Letters was a definite high point!

What authors do you like to read? What books have had a strong influence on you or your writing?

A few of my favorite authors include Carson McCullers, Robert Olen Butler, Eudora Welty, Dorothy Allison, Charles Frazier, Zadie Smith, Stephen King, Jeffery Eugenides, and Nell Leyshon.
Childhood books that first sparked my love of reading include The Secret Garden, Little Women, Nancy Drew, Tarzan of the Apes, Alice in Wonderland, and any Newbery award winner.

Do you write every single day? Any writing rituals?

Yes, I write most every day early in the morning with a cup of coffee. I start by recording in my journal the date, time, place, and current weather conditions. As a farm girl and gardener, knowing the weather forecast is ingrained in me. I can’t get started without checking the conditions. Crazy, I know!

What are your interests outside of writing?

Besides writing, I love nature and gardening, and I am a voracious reader.

Share some tips for other authors or aspiring authors: What would you do differently? What would you do the same? Please share anything you think would be beneficial to those reading this.

My advice to aspiring authors is to read excellent writing. Slow down and don’t be in a rush to publish your book. Hire a professional editor. Spend your spare time perfecting your craft rather than on marketing.
It’s my belief that good writing will be discovered. At least I hope so.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of “The Anchor Clankers.” To suggest an author interview, email her at rgarrison@bestversionmedia.com.

Forget about it

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author, Health, inspiration, Life, Memories, Writer, writing

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes searching for my reporter’s notebook. It’s not the first time this has happened – my keys, cell phone and coffee cups occasionally get lost, too. That’s when I panic and fear that it might reflect some withering brain cells. (In my defense, caring for a mother-in-law with dementia might make me a bit more paranoid than the average person.)
However, a growing body of research indicates forgetting stuff can actually be a by-product of rigorous thinking, smooth decision-making or heightened creativity. Forgetting can help us block out useless or outdated information and it can be driven by the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus, a brain region linked to memory.
It’s a relief to know that my forgetfulness isn’t part of the extensive memory loss linked to dementia or similar health problems. But just to be sure that I don’t miss any deadlines, or draw a mental blank during my next presentation, I’m going to make a few lists.
Now, if I can just find my pen…

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers. She’s currently writing a sequel.

Santa says avoid stress

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Christmas, Family, Health, Holiday, inspiration, Life, relationships

Ideally, the holidays should to be a time of thankfulness, reflection, and celebration. Yet the idealistic visions of a perfect holiday are often marred by tensions and stress. Financial pressure, over-commitment and unrealistic expectations are among the culprits. However, I’ve discovered a few adjustments that can bring joy and peace to the season.
-Have realistic expectations. Magazines, The Hallmark Channel, even commercials depict elaborate holiday decorations, spotless homes and amazing meals. All of those images push us toward unrealistic expectations of ourselves and everyone else. Instead, do what is realistic for you without feeling guilty, lazy or inadequate.
-Be flexible. You might have to make concessions about when and where celebrations occur to avoid stress in families. Be willing to get together on a different day before or after the holiday if need be. The actual day isn’t as important as the opportunity to gather in a relaxed, unrushed atmosphere.
-Downgrade décor. Just because neighbors or family members decorate excessively doesn’t mean you can’t opt for a different experience. Simple decorations are just as festive (and perhaps more peaceful) than over-the-top extravagance. Include a few items that are special to you or your children, but don’t feel obligated to go overboard.
-Don’t break the budget. Gifts, parties, decorations and travel create a lot of financial pressure during the holidays. Your budget may require reducing the number of gifts you give or finding other ways to cut costs. Ignore the retail hype that plays on your emotions and avoid the temptation to buy with credit cards. Your stress level will skyrocket in January when the bills arrive.
– Just say no. A full holiday calendar equals exhaustion. Consider the logistics before accepting too many invitations. Leave holes in your calendar for quiet evenings at home or impromptu gatherings. You’ll be glad you did.

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers. 

Renee interviews author Stacey Horan

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author, books, entertainment, Life, literature, publishers, writing

Stacey and I met when we participated in an author panel discussion in Jacksonville. Her Young Adult books involve contemporary settings, with a twist. She believes, “Real life is scary and interesting enough on its own. I don’t think you need to embellish it.”

 
Tell me about your background. Where you grew up, where you live now, education, work experience? Share some interesting things about yourself that we should know about.
I grew up in southwest Florida (on the Gulf Coast), but I’ve moved around a lot as an adult. My husband and I have a tendency to pack up and move every 3-6 years. We’ve lived in several cities in Florida, moved overseas to live in the UK and then moved back stateside to live just outside of NYC. Our most recent move took us to Jacksonville, Florida, where we now live with our two dogs – and we are hoping to stay put for a while.
I have degrees from UCF and Duke Law School, and I practiced law for almost twenty years. Now, I write full-time.

What inspired you to write this book? What is the story behind the story?
I was working full-time as in-house counsel for an international corporation. It was a very fast paced, high-pressure job, but it wasn’t artistically creative. Needing a creative outlet, I began writing stories at night, on weekends and, occasionally, on my lunch break. The first book I started writing took about 12 years to complete, but it wasn’t my first published book. It was actually the third book I published. I’ve been writing for almost 15 years, and I have four books published with another one on the way. I write Young Adult fiction, and I love the genre. My books are, in publication order: Sycamore Lane, Inland, Ortus and Juvenis (the last two are the first two installments in a five-part series called The Elixir Vitae Adventures).

What has been your biggest challenge or obstacle?
The biggest challenge for me is marketing my books. When I first started out as an author, I was surprised by how much time it took to market my books and promote myself as an author. I’m not a natural salesperson, so it’s a skill I’m still developing.

What has been your biggest “aha” moment or success?
I consider it my biggest success when people (especially kids!) come up to me and tell me they’ve read and enjoyed my stories. There’s no bigger thrill, or honor, as a writer.

What authors do you like to read? What books have had a strong influence on you?
I gravitate to thrillers, mysteries and suspense. When I was a kid, my mom (who taught elementary school for many years) introduced me to my very first Nancy Drew book. I read that first one (The Secret in the Old Clock), and I was hooked! I couldn’t get enough. In one summer, I ready every Nancy Drew book my library carried.

Do you write every single day? Any writing rituals?
I’d like to be able to say “yes,” but that’s not true. I don’t write every day. I find it’s an impossible goal for me to set for myself. Nevertheless, I aspire one day to be able to write everyday. That being said, I do work at my writing job everyday. There is always something that needs to be done. Either I’m writing my stories, editing my stories, researching and planning my stories, trying to market my books and/or handling other administrative tasks that need my attention. Writing is only part of the job – it’s the best part, but it’s still only one part.

What are your interests outside of writing?
I have just recently started a podcast entitled, The Bookshop at the End of the Internet. (I’ve recorded half a dozen interviews so far, and the first episode will go live in early December). The podcast is dedicated to helping book lovers find new authors. I interview authors from all walks of life, who write across all genres and who are published in a variety of ways (indie, small press, large publishing houses). It’s been a lot of fun speaking with the authors about their writing journeys, and I’ve learned something new about the art of writing from each interview.
I also do classroom visits with schools via Skype in the Classroom. It’s been a lot of fun to speak with students about writing and to answer their questions. So far, I’ve spoken with classes in half a dozen different states in the US, as well as classes in Canada, Panama and Australia. It’s been quite an adventure.

Share some tips: What would you do differently? What would you do the same? Please share anything you think would be beneficial to those reading this.
If I had to do it over again, I would have started writing much earlier. It would have been great to discover the joy of writing in school (by which I mean writing my own stories in my own way) and to have practiced that craft for much longer than I have been doing to date. Nevertheless, I came to writing at a time when I desperately needed a creative outlet, and I’m just pleased to have found it at all.
When I was ready, I took a leap of faith and made writing my full-time job. It was a bumpy start, but now I can’t imagine doing anything else. It’s the best job in the world.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers. To suggest an interview, email her at rgarrison@bestversionmedia.com.