Aging parents and their pets

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aging, Elderly, Family, Home, Homeowner, Memories, Parents, pets

A stray Jack Russell terrier wandered into my mother-in-law’s driveway one Christmas and quickly made a home in her heart. Mom loved having “a furry child” by her side to keep her company throughout the day. She named the dog Joy, which is exactly what the animal brought for more than a decade, comforting Mom through the death of two husbands.
Joy – like most cats and dogs – was very in tune with her owners’ feelings. Pets sense when someone is upset or unhappy and are excellent at providing instant comfort.
She also was a great protector, barking at any perceived threat. Having a dog made my mother-in-law feel safer in her home and may have allowed her to stay there, longer.
Studies have found that owning pets provides health benefits, too, including decreased blood pressure and cholesterol. Even heart attack survivors are more likely to live longer if they have a pet to keep them company. Joy motivated Mom to go outside for walks, which also afforded her a social life as she chatted with other pet parents in the neighborhood.
Yet in addition to being a companion, pets are a responsibility. So when her beloved Joy recently died, my mother-in-law decided not to get another dog. Though having the house to herself seems a little daunting, the 91-year-old admits that she can no longer care for an animal.
Sadly, I am relieved.
Pets need as much love and attention as a child, and eventually that may be too much for an elderly parent to manage. What happens when a pet outlives its owner? Who inherits the animal? Shelters are filled with the sad, sweet faces of pets whose owners passed away. How do adult children plan for the inevitable, with pets and aging parents?

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Keep those cards and letters coming

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Community, Family, Life, love, Memories

In the days of cell phones, email and text messages, letter writing can seem hopelessly outdated. My son recently informed me of his refusal to support the greeting card industry so I should not expect a Mother’s Day card.
Fortunately, I’ve saved a drawer full of handwritten notes from him as well as from his sister:
“Mom, I feel like lately we’ve gotten to be really close and I can talk to you about almost anything.”

To their father:

“I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my dad. I hope you can come and visit me often in Chicago.”

I have no idea how to convey to my child that writing and receiving letters will always offer an experience that modern technology cannot touch. Twitter is fine for broadcasting what you’re eating for lunch, and email is fantastic for quick exchanges of pertinent information. But when it comes to sharing your true thoughts, sincere sympathies, ardent love, and deepest gratitude, words traveling along an invisible superhighway will never suffice. Why?

The impact of handwritten cards and letters lasts far longer than any text or email offered in our high-tech world. Years after they are written and sent (and even after their senders and receivers are gone), letters remain to be read, appreciated and preserved. I love seeing the familiar handwriting of my late grandmother and grandfather on old documents. Letters protect our memories in a way that technological communication cannot. They are tangible, personal and real, in every sense of the word.

Computers and smart phones may prove more efficient, but they can never take the place of this kind of sentimental history.

Letters create lasting memories.

 

 

Look for inspirational home ideas in her book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” available on amazon.com

Comfy on a couch

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Architecture, Community, decorating, Design, Family, Florida, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Humor, Memories

When you live a short drive from “Mickey and Minnie’s house” in Florida, you have overnight guests at least once a month. In the event of a big crowd, a few may even stay on your couch. Here are a few ways to make guests feel comfortable and welcome, even when they’re bunking on a sofa bed:

1. Replace end tables with dressers: Being able to unpack is key to feeling at home. To avoid mysterious piles of clothing in your living area, use a small dresser in place of a traditional end table to give guests space for their things.
2. Clear out closet space: Luggage can take up valuable real estate in tight quarters, so making room for your guest’s luggage in your closet helps both you and them feel better about sharing a small space.
3. Arrange an amenity area: Whether it’s your coffee table or end table, make sure your guests have useful items such as a small fan, an alarm clock and a table lamp within arm’s reach.
4. Stage a plug-in hot spot: Set up a designated charging area for phones, laptops and tablets. That way, guests can recharge at the end of a long day without having to hunt for outlets. Don’t forget to leave your WiFi password.
5. Provide bedding storage: Carve out a place where bedding can be stored during the day so that your sofa can be used while you are entertaining your guests. Try a chest, closet or storage ottoman.
6. Stock the liquor cabinet: Your guests won’t mind their accommodations at all.

 

Look for more inspirational home ideas in Renee’s book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” available on amazon.com

Sign me up

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Architecture, book, Conversation, Design, Family, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Memories

Recently I was asked to do a book signing at an upscale boutique in Tampa, Florida. Emails went out to the shop customers, an exterior sign heralded my name, and items appeared in newspaper columns, announcing the event.

I was a bit uneasy about engaging a lot of strangers in conversation, (“Do you need a house-warming gift?”) but it turns out I didn’t need to be: The people who arrived were old friends – some I hadn’t seen in more than a decade – like Fred Rock (pictured above.) They came to congratulate me, to catch up and be supportive. (One even brought the most delicious donuts to tide me over until I could eat a late lunch!)
I was humbled and happy to see each of them.

Today, few friendships survive corporate relocations, divorces or deaths. Virginia Woolf summed it up rather nicely: “I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.”

But I thank God every day for the lasting ones – the people you call when the doctor says “I‘d like to run a few more tests,” or your child moves in with someone you’ve never much liked or trusted.

Funny thing – I’ve no idea how many books were sold last week. I simply know how many friends showed up. And that means so much more…

“Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!” is available on amazon.com.

Tips on tapping

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Conversation, dancing, exercise, fashion, Ginger Rogers, Humor, Memories, style, tap, tap dancing

I never knew that tap dancing involved math.
When I signed up for a class, I was looking for a fun cardio-vascular workout…something I could do at home with the radio on. After all, Ginger Rogers made it look easy.

According to the brochure, “Tap dancing is a vigorous form of dance, requiring a great deal of physical fitness. Many kids as well as adults tap dance for fun and exercise. It builds aerobic fitness as well as muscle control.”
In addition, it also involves COUNTING combinations of steps – 4 of this, 2 of that – then, break! (I confess I was an English major …math always has been my nemesis.)

Hoping to lower my risk of dementia, I persevered and learned that tap dancing consists of several basic steps that can be done as slowly or as quickly as you wish: 
Stamp (heel and toe at the same time on the floor, shifting weight.)
Stomp (same as “stamp” except with no change of weight.)
Brush (involves gently brushing the ball of your foot against the floor.)
Ball change (shifting your weight to the ball of your foot for a split second.)
Heel tap (strike the heel on the floor and release it immediately.)

The best part, of course, is the noise – tap dancers use their feet like drums to create rhythmic patterns. The term “tap dancing” is derived from the tapping sound produced when the small metal plates on the dancer’s shoes touch a hard floor.
On a positive note: I’m proud to say that I made a lot of racket.

A typical tap class like mine lasts about an hour, beginning with a warm-up to stretch the muscles of the legs and feet. We learned a series of basic steps, adding more difficult combinations as we (theoretically) became more proficient.

“Your knees and ankles should be relaxed at all times,” our instructor (a former Broadway dancer) declared over the microphone. She must be kidding…

Actually, they were sort of relaxed until my weight shifted from the ball of my foot to the heel, causing me to fall backward – with arms flailing – until the saintly woman standing next to me stopped my fall. I imagine we looked at bit like an elderly version of “A Chorus Line” at their retirement party.

Later, as I untied the ribbon of my shiny tap shoe and pulled on an Ugg boot, a charming lady named Rita whispered into my ear. “I took my first tap lesson when I was 62,’ she said, patting my arm. “Don’t worry, honey. You’ll get it.”

I hope Ginger Rogers started this way…

Giving birth to a book

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Architecture, author, book, Construction, Design, Family, Gardens, Home, Houses, Housewarming, Humor, kitchen, Memories

Working with a graphic artist to design a cover for your book is a bit like giving birth to a child: After months of effort, you hope it will be reasonably attractive when it‘s delivered.
I’m a writer (not an artist) who recognizes her design limitations. Trying to convey a sense of contentment, encouragement and happiness at home on an 8-by-5 inch book isn’t easy. The cover has to speak to potential readers…beg them to pick it up and look inside.
I’m delighted to say my new book does just that. After a flurry of emails – both photographs and text – graphic artist Kristin Johnson did an amazing job of selecting just the right image and type font. (Don’t you love finding the authors’ names hiding under the bed?!)
I hope this book and its cover will speak to you, too. “Pick me up…look inside.”

Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof! also is available on amazon.com.

It’s Thanksgiving!

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Family, Holiday, Home, Memories, Thanksgiving

Dorothy said it best: When she returned from Oz, she closed her eyes and whispered, “There’s no place like home.”

I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!

The power of place

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Architecture, Community, environment, Memories, mood, motherhood

Driving through Hyde Park recently, I passed the Methodist Church where I once enrolled my 3-year-old daughter in “Mother’s Morning Out.” For a nominal fee, children played from 9 a.m. until noon, under the supervision of an elderly couple (probably my current age, but without benefit of hair color or moisturizer.)

My darling Katie cried for all three hours – no amount of cajoling from the couple could stem her tide of tears. After three unsuccessful attempts, they suggested I keep her at home. In disbelief, I stood outside the playroom one morning and listened to be sure their claims were true. Her whimper escalated to a wail and, when neither of us could bear it any longer, I rushed in to retrieve her.

Sitting in my car at the stop sign, I felt the same raw anguish in the pit of my stomach. It could have happened yesterday – the pain was so real. Oddly, my daughter is now 31 and contemplating a child of her own.

I am continually amazed by the power of place: so strong, it can transport you to another time. Sheer geography – bricks and mortar – can elicit memories so vivid they can bring you to a smile (or a sob) in an instant.

Have you ever experienced it (or should I contact a mental health professional immediately?)

A brush with color

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Architecture, color, Design, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Memories, Paint, style

I’ve discovered my dream job: Naming shades of paint.

Sherwin-Williams offers 1,500 different colors of paint and the Cleveland-based company relies on just one woman to name them all. Jackie Jordan, director of color marketing, draws inspiration from foods, books, song lyrics – pretty much everything.

Jordan has been with the company for 27 years and has come up with more than 10,000 paint names. “Blue Sky,” Cherry Tomato” and “Stolen Kiss” are a few of the easy ones. “Wall Street” refers to a dark gray shade, while “Indulgent” is actually lavender. The intention is for homeowners to develop an attachment to their chosen color.
“It’s an emotional thing,” Jordan says. “People like to have an association with a particular color.”

Most colors have a life span of 10 to 12 years, but the names stick to their respective hues forever. However, they can’t have too many letters or they won’t fit on the a paint card. Names with three or more words are rare, making up only 3 percent of colors.

The longest? “Colonial Revival Green Stone.” (I’d definitely keep ‘em short and sweet.)

Where do I apply?

A sweet comeback

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cupcakes, Family, food, Hostess, Memories

Once upon a time, my mother packed Hostess cupcakes in my lunchbox. I loved the spongy cake, the creamy filling and the thicker icing than other snack cakes.

And I’ve missed them since the liquidation of Hostess Brands following Chapter 11 bankruptcy last year. It didn’t surprise me when the shuttering of the company triggered a rush on snack cakes, with stores selling out of the goodies within hours.

Hostess sold off its brands in chunks to different buyers: Its major bread brands – including Wonder – were sold to Flowers Foods (which makes Tastykakes.) McKee Foods (which makes Little Debbie snack cakes) bought Drakes Cake (creator of Devil Dogs and Yodels.) Metropoulos & Co. teamed with Apollo Global Management bought Twinkies and other Hostess cakes for $410 million.

The good news is they’ll be back on supermarket shelves on July 15 and Hostess is expecting a blockbuster return for its Twinkies, Cupcakes and Donettes. The company says the cakes will taste the same, but the boxes will bear the tag line “The Sweetest Comeback In The History of Ever.”

Now, if I can just find my lunchbox….