The Gold Medal goes to…

Tags

books, Life, relationships, teenagers, writing

J.D. Salinger averaged 20 words a day to finish his 73,000-word classic The Catcher in the Rye over a 10-year span. My novel took six years to get from a legal pad into a binding.

Much of that time was spent sitting alone in front of my computer. On good days, I wondered how a book could be so easy to write. On other days, I struggled – week by agonizing week – wondering if it was worth the fight. Every book has its journey, which may take a month, a year, or even a lifetime.

Probably because they spend so much time alone, authors value recognition from their peers. At the Florida Authors and Publishers Association 2017 President’s Book Awards ceremony, the goodwill was palpable. Winners had been notified that we were finalists in the competition, so when the bronze medal in the Young Adult category was announced, I prepared to stand. I did the same when the silver medal was announced. That’s when I began to fear I’d been notified in error. (I didn’t even hear my name called as the gold medal was announced.) Fortunately, I DID see a six-foot picture of my book cover flash on stage, so I stood and walked toward it.

Turns out that E. B. White, author of Charlotte’s Web, was quite right when he said, “It is deeply satisfying to win a prize in front of a lot of people.”

Sore today, strong tomorrow

Tags

Health, Humor, injuries, inspiration, Life, physical therapy, relationships

My physical therapist wears a shirt that reads, “Suck it up, buttercup.”

I’ve been seeing a lot of her since I had surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff.  She appears sympathetic during each hour-long torture session (most serial killers do – it’s the secret of their success.)

However, the camaraderie among other victims – er, patients – surprises me. When our eyes meet, there’s a smile, a nod, or murmur of encouragement. During brief moments of rest, I’ve had people lean over and ask, “How did it happen?” or “Did you have surgery?”

Simple gestures, yet when you’re in pain and feeling frustrated, encouragement from strangers in the same boat is comforting. Our injuries may be diverse, but our goals are clear and compelling: to be pain-free and able to move with a full range of motion.

The prospect of meeting these folks again one day in Starbucks or the grocery store (anywhere but physical therapy) appeals to me. Our shared experience creates a kind of fraternity, though our initiations were vastly different.

Our motto: It really will get better every day.

Setting the mood

Tags

decor, Family, Home, relationships, style, Valentine

TAMPA – Lou and Carol Radwanski know how to set a mood.
The creative couple – Carol sells visual merchandising to department stores and theme parks, while Lou owns The Arrangement Florist – will be married 42 years next month.

“We’re both workaholics,” Lou admits. “So we schedule a weekly date night and we share the chores. But the real secret to our marriage’s success is that we’re best friends.”

Their instincts were good from the start – the couple became engaged just two weeks after meeting. And like many lovers, they prefer to celebrate Valentine’s Day at home.
“It is the biggest, single day of the year for florists,” Lou explains. “We’re usually working around the clock in the days leading up to it. ”

Once, years ago, the couple decided to celebrate the holiday with a few friends.
“I fell asleep in my mashed potatoes,” he says. “I learned that Valentine’s Day is not a night for florists to go out.”

So Carol pulls together the perfect romantic celebration at home by decorating a few key areas with symbols of love:

1. The Entrance – Decorating your front entrance starts the night with a nice surprise for any Valentine. Carol hangs a sparkly heart wreath trimmed with white silk flowers and ribbon on the door. For added color, she plants pink, red and white flowers by the walkway, along with a tiny cupid flag.

2. The Dining Room – Nothing is more romantic than having an intimate dinner with the one you love. In lieu of a runner, Carol scatters rose petals along her black lacquer dining table. Red chargers beneath white plates, red roses in glass cubes and red candles add to the affectionate atmosphere.

3. The Bath – The Radwanskis enjoy red walls, a golden baroque mirror and antique fixtures in their bathroom all year long. For Valentine’s Day, Carol adds a vase with red roses, red hand towels and a sexy note written in lipstick on the mirror! Heart-shaped soap dishes and aroma candles also are inexpensive ways to add a bit of love to your bathroom décor.

4. The Bedroom – Two red robes lay waiting by a dessert tray topped with Valentine coffee mugs and a box of chocolates. “Carol knows I love eating chocolate and watching Jay Leno,” Lou says, with a grin.
Scattering rose petals on the floor might indicate a slightly different program…

Children

Tags

children, Family, motherhood, relationships, respect, self-esteem

“Time makes bolder,
children get older
I’m getting older, too.” ~ Fleetwood Mac

My friend’s voice cracked and tears spilled from her eyes as she recounted the last meeting with her 30-something daughter. “My therapist says my relationship with you is toxic. I can’t be around you.”

I’ve known this woman for more than 20 years. I’ve watched the sacrifices she made for her children and the life she devoted to them: countless hours spent chauffeuring them to lessons and events; cookies and cupcakes baked for school parties; athletic games suffered through, and all the tears she dried, due to life’s disappointments.

When I heard such a cruel statement come from the daughter she adored, my own gut ached. Somehow with all the love we gave, and all the lessons we tried to instill, we forgot to teach our children to respect us.

Simply because they now earn a paycheck (and are less dependent on ours,) many adult children believe they can speak to us differently, condescendingly…as they might speak to a dim-witted peer.

In our constant attempts to bolster their self-esteem, did we diminish their regard for us?

Generational expectations often differ because ideas about relationships change over time. Mothers understand that behavior which is appropriate between parents and small children will change as the children grow. But respect is non-negotiable.

If you’ve never been a parent, let me assure you that caring for children is not always a rewarding enterprise. To hold a little person in your hands and in your heart every minute of your life is one tough task.

We all have similar hopes for our children: good health, happiness, fulfilling work and financial stability. Perhaps we should add one more: Always treat us with respect.