Formerly known as…

Tags

aging, career, jobs, unemployment, working

She hides within your circle of friends, dressed beautifully in a designer wardrobe she bought when times were good and she could afford it.
But if you look closely, you’ll notice that when she joins you at restaurants, she orders club soda with a twist instead of a $14 glass of wine. She’s equally careful in her menu choices, counting every cent in her head. She begs off dividing the check evenly to cover desserts, cappuccinos and the second glass of chardonnay she didn’t drink.
She discovered how to do her own hair and nails, and prays that her aging luxury car doesn’t require repairs. In addition, she may be helping to support her adult child who fell on hard times.
She’s still as talented as ever, yet all of the online job applications she fills out seem to disappear into a black hole. Her work is sporadic now – mostly occasional consulting jobs.
She is over 55 and entered the uncertain world of formerly and used to be and isn’t sure anymore what her future holds.
“I feel terribly inadequate. I’ve held very responsible jobs over the years, yet I can’t seem to get hired today. Older workers like myself have ‘people’ skills that that the younger, computer generation lack.”
Looking for work is hard and filled with mounting frustrations and multiple rejections. She worries about staying upbeat and positive, and struggles to pull herself out of the slumps and setbacks so inherent to the process.
Finding a job is challenging for anyone in tough economic times, but it’s harder if you’re over age 50. It’s illegal for employers to discriminate based on age, but any older job-seeker will tell you it happens every day. That reality is colliding with the intent of baby boomers, most of whom hope—and need—to keep working past traditional retirement age.
Please tell her: What are the best strategies for landing a job when you’re “a woman of a certain age?”

Love and support

Tags

children, gay, grandparents, lesbian, love, marriage, parenting, Support

A woman I’d known for 20 years pulled me aside at a luncheon and asked me to autograph a copy of my book for her daughter.
“My daughter left her husband and children…for another woman.”
I stopped writing and tried to process the information as my friend lowered her voice.
“I just want you to know that I was at an emotional low point when you posted a picture of your daughter’s wedding on Facebook. I’m not as open as you – I still haven’t told the rest of my family.
“But seeing that picture of you, with your daughter and her wife, really helped me a lot at the time. I’m very grateful and I wanted you to know how much I appreciated it.”
I could hear the quiver in her voice and I hugged her.
Parents of gay children often are uncomfortable with letting other people know their truth. They fear risking jobs, reputation and family ties…persecution by those who consider homosexuality sinful. (Of course, morality presumes freedom to choose and when it comes to sexuality…but I digress.)
Sadly, parents can feel isolated, guilty and confused about where to turn.
As one mother told me, “When my daughter came out of the closet as a lesbian, I went in.”
I’m no poster child, but experience has shown me that it’s not a good idea to keep such a secret from others who might be supportive or helpful.

Ultimately, my daughter’s life turned out to be exactly how I imagined it: A mortgage, a career and three children. The only difference is that she’s sharing it with a wife instead of a husband.
I certainly never wanted her to marry a man out of guilt or a desire for acceptance or because of negative attitudes in the community.
That’s simply too high a price to pay for silence about sexuality.

Renee’s gift book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” is available on amazon.com