No dressing room needed

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author, clothing, entertainment, fashion, Humor, inspiration, Life, vacation

During my tenure as fashion editor of The Tampa Tribune, I met a woman who ran a clothing store in a nudist resort.
“Nudists love clothes,” she insisted and I nodded as though the statement made perfect sense. Still, journalistic curiosity got the better of me when she invited me to visit her shop.
Driving through the security gate, I realized I hadn’t considered the potential awkwardness of my situation. I was wearing a linen suit and carrying a reporter’s notebook, which stood out in a sea of nakedness. As a parochial school grad, I admit experiencing initial shock the sight of a mixed doubles game of tennis. (The sight of so many objects bouncing on the court still haunts me.)
However, I now feel qualified to offer a few tips to anyone considering a clothing-optional experience this summer:
– Nude resorts understand it’s natural to look at people. What is not OK, however, is to stare. Like me, if you’re not used to engaging in eye-contact and conversation with someone who’s totally exposed, keep your sunglasses on.
– Nude resort etiquette calls for guests to sit on a towel. Resorts will have them at the ready, but bringing your own beach towel is a great way to easily identify your seat. Grabbing someone else’s towel by mistake isn’t something you want to do at a clothing-optional pool or beach.
– Clothing-optional resorts take great care to ensure their patrons feel safe and comfortable. That’s why many have strict policies around photography, some completely ban smartphones. Seize the opportunity to unplug from technology and relax. Bring a great book to read.

 

Renee Garrison is the award-winning author of The Anchor Clankers.

Early to bed, early to rise…

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bed, diary, Home, mood, scientists, sleep, tired, vacation

This morning I was awakened at 4:30 by an elderly dog with a bladder problem. As I write this, I know that my energy will evaporate by mid-afternoon and my ability to write coherently will cease.
I’ve read about research that indicates getting too little sleep causes cognitive and health declines as well as weight gain. (Thank God wine and chocolate have nothing to do with it…)
I also remember my mother insisting that I needed 8 hours of sleep every night. But doctors have learned that sleep needs vary between individuals. According to recent studies people sleep 6 hours, 31 minutes on weekdays and 7 hours, 22 minutes on weekends.
However, a scientist at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine says getting just 20 or 30 minutes less than the minimum recommendation of seven hours can slow cognitive speed and increase attention lapses. Huh?
How much sleep do YOU need?
It’s kind of easy to figure it out.
Experts say we can figure out our optimal amount of sleep in a trial of three days or a week – ideally while on vacation. Don’t use an alarm clock. Go to sleep when you get tired. Avoid too much caffeine or alcohol. And stay off electronic devices for a couple of hours before going to bed. During the trial, track your sleep with a diary or a device that records your actual sleep time. If you feel refreshed and awake during the day, you’ve probably discovered your optimal sleep time.
Congratulations – now I’m going back to bed.

Boating

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boat, offshore, power, speed, Steve Stepp, transportation, travel, vacation, Velocity

As we motored away from the dock, I remember thinking to myself how nice it would be if the engines just fell out of the boat. Then I could go back to the marina and chat about riding in the world’s fastest pleasure boat. However, the twin turbo-charged 475 horsepower MerCruiser engines held fast – and soon afterward, so did I.

Standing in the navigator’s slot (you don’t sit in these boats – they come quipped with a three-position competition bolster) I was strapped into a massive life jacket and equally enormous goggles. There’s a thin bar on the dashboard, onto which I grabbed, and then turned my attention to the gentleman who was steering.

Steve Stepp, president of Velocity Powerboats in Sanford, Florida, is the fiberglass wizard who designs and builds the boats. A soft-spoken man with friendly eyes and a deep southern drawl, Stepp was just the tranquilizer I needed. Racing since 1964, he’s set national records in Outboard Performance Class racing.

Admittedly, when he hooked the kill switches to his belt loop and explained that they would shut the motor off automatically should he become disengaged from the boat, I felt a wave of panic. But he assured me with a smile that he had no intention of leaving the boat until we got back to the dock.

At the throttles stood Gene Whipp, owner of Gulfwind Marine and a 20-year veteran of offshore racing. So with auspicious companions, I was off.

I watched the speedometer creep to 60 then 70, when I noticed the engines, which had previously generated a tremendous amount of noise, were no longer audible. The wind, roaring in my ears, had completely obliterated them.

When the little needle lurched past 80, I stopped looking. I focused my attention on the throng gathered on the seawall. Moving at 90 mph, you don’t see them for very long.

I ventured a wave, but when my hand rose above the windscreen, it disappeared behind me. The force of the wind took me by surprise and I turned around, astonished, just to be sure it was still attached to my arm.

Once my hand was back in the cockpit, I found myself beginning to relax. My legs were functioning better in their role as shock absorbers. Initially (in order to remain standing) I’d sort of locked them in place, but now my body had become more flexible, moving with the boat.

However, the reverie didn’t last long: We hit another craft’s wake and became airborne. My jaw dropped in amazement – a big mistake. The air pressure turned my cheeks into great balloons and, worse yet, my teeth were instantly bone dry. This makes getting one’s lips back over them exceedingly difficult.

Anyone watching my facial contortions might assume I was having a bumpy ride. Wrong. The boat was extremely stable at high speed, largely due to Stepp’s approach to hull design. His hull begins with a deep-V shape that flattens out in a small section, near the stern. This design, he says, offers stability when it planes.

The exhilaration you feel while skimming the water at that speed defies description. Power surging from beneath your feet acts like a drug. It takes your breath away while it sharpens your senses. It’s….terrifying. Looking skyward once, I felt the goggles shift as though they were about to be blown clear off the top of my head. I returned to earth very quickly.

When the boat finally slowed on its return to the marina, Whipp noted that we’d been cruising across Sarasota Bay at 95 mph. The legs that, until then had so sturdily supported me, turned to Jell-O.

My next adventure? Perhaps a pontoon boat …..

Swim tips

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bathing suit, clothing, fashion, Humor, sausage casing, style, swimsuit, vacation

Most women would rather have a tooth extracted than try on a bathing suit.

But after years of humbling hours spent in badly-lit dressing rooms (standing in front of mirrors undoubtedly purchased from circus fun houses) I have a few tips for obtaining the best result.

1. Be sure to apply makeup and comb your hair before leaving the house. If nothing below your collarbone looks particularly good, it will be less damaging, psychologically .

2. Bring a range of sizes into the dressing room – some larger than you think you’ll need. You can always cut the size tag out of the suit once you own it, but pieces of Spandex run small and “sausage casing” is never a good look.

3. Once you have a swimsuit on, turn your purse upside down and empty the contents on the floor. With your back to the mirror, bend over and pick up everything you lost, replacing it inside the purse. Finally, stand up and face the mirror. Are your breasts still inside the suit? Is your gluteus maximus still encased in the bottom?

Though suntan models recline in perfect splendor, the average woman chases children, picks up shells and even swims in her suit. Who knew? She doesn’t want to continually adjust it or continually fall out of it. (The sight frightens children and innocent beachgoers.)

4. Considerable engineering goes into the manufacture of today’s swimsuits: Tummy control panels, under-wire cups, strategic color placement and draping are ingenious ways to camouflage figure flaws and draw attention to assets . These suits may cost a bit more but are worth it, since you are wearing a bit less and have fewer ways to cover or conceal problem areas.  Burkas are an option, of course…

5. Ignore all swimsuit models (including the Michael Kors version pictured above) and realize magazine photographs are airbrushed, even teenagers have cellulite and no one will be as critical of your appearance as you are.

Photo by Peter Gould/Viewmedia