My old refrigerator died recently, so I shopped for a replacement. My needs were simple: Smudge-free stainless steel, check. Water dispenser in the door, check. Icemaker, check. A reasonable price, check. It was delivered shortly after and I was pleased, until I went to bed…
That’s when my kitchen sounded like the Gaza strip or perhaps the Iceland volcano when it erupts. The noise was so outrageous I first thought a blind burglar had stumbled into the house.
I’ve never encountered such an issue before although, granted, I haven’t bought many refrigerators in my lifetime. Should I have added quiet to my search list? Does anyone else own an appliance that sounds like an avalanche?
During one of many visits to the neurologist, my mother-in-law spotted a lounging tabby cat on the reception desk. The cat purred when she stroked it and stopped to lick its paw. She was entranced.
The lifelike companion was actually a robot, sold under the brand name “Joy for All” for around $140. Imagine – no litter box to clean, cat food to buy or vet bills to pay!
A number of studies have shown that these mess-free pets can reduce their owners’ feelings of loneliness, anxiety and depression. For elderly patients with dementia (like my mother-in-law,) spending 20 minutes with a robotic pet three times a week has been shown to improve their mood and curb the need for behavioral medication.
We put Mom’s tuxedo cat back in the box after she died, but I might bring him out again. In this time of pandemics and presidential campaigns, I need to elevate my mood.
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
I laughed when I read this article by Susan DeLay in The Hallard Press. That’s why I’m sharing it with you. Happy Mother’s Day! ~Renee
My mother lied to me.
Face it, with the possible exception of Mother Teresa, most mothers lie. Mom passed away three years ago at 89, but I am certain she spent most of her adult years burning the midnight oil and memorizing facts from Mom’s Axioms to Get Your Kids to Do What You Want. It’s a book that’s secretly handed down from generation to generation and available only to mothers, kindergarten teachers, and nannies.
Mom Lies Saved Lives
Mom passed away a few years ago, but I still remember the whoppers she told me when I was growing up—whoppers that I still live by. Granted, her lies were for my own good—designed to keep me safe, healthy, and most of all, alive. (Minus that big fat lie about having to eat carrots.)
While mothers everywhere tell us lying is not okay, that’s not completely true. The lies Mom told my brother, sister, and me might have meant the difference between death by spanking and death period.
Mom’s Top 10 Whoppers
Coffee will stunt your growth. My grandmother drank coffee and my parents drank coffee—a lot of it. How come they weren’t short? Starbucks may not know about this one. Neither do their millions of customers.
If you eat seeds (watermelon, orange, grapefruit), it’s inevitable you’ll end up with a tree growing in your stomach. I wonder if nutritionists know about this. They’re big on encouraging people to eat seeds as part of a healthy diet.
Crack your knuckles and your fingers will fall off. Yep, just like that. Thunk, thunk, thunk on the ground.
Wait 30 minutes after eating before going into the water or you’ll get cramps and die. I believed this one so strongly that I wouldn’t even get into the bathtub until at least 30 minutes after dinner. Showers are okay. You won’t die from a post-meal shower—unless you happen to be spending the night in the Bates Motel.
Wear a hat when you go outside in cold weather, or you’ll get pneumonia and die. A parallel safety violation is never go outside with wet hair because you’ll catch pneumonia and die. It’s okay to go out in the rain because you’re not made of sugar and you won’t melt. Just make sure you have a hat and umbrella. Otherwise, well, you could die.
Never answer a phone on the first ring. Rumor has it this is done to deceive people into thinking you have better things to do than sit by the phone. Of course, this was before we carried our phones with us everywhere we went. Even the bathroom. (Ewww.)
If you sit too close to the TV, you’ll go blind. Watching television in the dark is a surefire path to losing your eyesight. It won’t happen all at once, of course. Your eyes will start to deteriorate and you’ll need glasses, which is unfortunate because Mom also said boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.
But wait. There’s more. After enough television watching from an unsafe distance, you’ll graduate to dark glasses, a white cane, and a seeing-eye dog. To this day, I watch TV from across the room with the lights on. Once you pass a certain age, your eyes are going to deteriorate anyway. Mom didn’t have an answer for that, but I did. It’s called old age.
If you forget something and go back into the house to get it, sit down before you leave again. There is a possibility you might die if you don’t. To this day, I follow this rule. I heard it from both my grandmother and my mom. And I think I read it in the National Enquirer, so it must be true.
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. This rule, usually applied before a parent doles out punishment, has puzzled children since the beginning of time. Just how, exactly is this going to hurt you more than me? I once offered to help take her pain by switching places. I was very sorry I asked.
My all-time favorite Mom lie is that eating carrots will not only help our eyesight, but it will also allow us to see in the dark. The World Carrot Museum says this falsehood was started by the British Ministry of Information to mislead the Nazi Luftwaffe (Air Force) during World War II. Luftwaffe pilots struck at night and thanks to secret radar technology, the Royal Air Force (RAF) fought them off. Rather than let the Nazis discover the Airborne Interception Radar, Brits concocted a farce that RAF pilots had night vision because they ate carrots. Lies. All of it.
I still think of my mother every time I stare down a cooked carrot.
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
According to the headlines, “the Pantone Color of the Year 2023 is a fun and fearless hue.”
Evidently, I am neither.
I can’t imagine, say, sitting on a sofa on “a new animated red that revels in pure joy, encouraging experimentation and self-expression without restraint, an electrifying and a boundless shade.”
Be advised, the color will soon pop up in stores, be worn on the runway, and get brushed on the walls of our homes. When selecting Viva Magenta 18-1750, the color experts determined “it had to be a courageous color that reflects inner strength. Strong and spirited, Viva Magenta landed the role.”
“The last few years were transformative in many ways in terms of people’s sense of self, and the way well-being, priorities, and identity are being thought about,” says Laurie Pressman, vice president of the Pantone Color Institute, which provides customized color standards, brand identity and product color consulting as well as trend forecasting with the Pantone Color of the Year, Fashion Runway Color Trend Reports, color psychology and more.
The folks at Pantone say it’s a modern color that can be used in bold new ways, from eyeshadow to an attention-grabbing accent wall. (I’m more of a gray or beige girl, myself.) They chose it after extensive research—including inspiration pulled from art exhibits, travels, fashion shows, even TikTok videos.
I think I’ll just wait and see…
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
Does anyone else like drawing in the dust? A long-ignored shelf or tabletop makes a great canvas for doodling with your finger. Unfortunately, it’s also a reminder that I should be cleaning.
Keeping a home consistently clean can feel like a full-time job. That’s why I read (with mild interest) an article on tips for keeping your space spotless.
The first recommendation was the 20/10 Rule:
You use a timer to train yourself to do brief cleaning periods throughout the week. For example, you can set a timer for 20 minutes and focus on cleaning something during those 20 minutes. Then, you give yourself a 10-minute break to do whatever you want.
This is highly unlikely for me.
Another suggestion was Have a schedule: For example, maybe Monday is for dusting and laundry, and Tuesday is for vacuuming and bathrooms. You can go from there, but as you’re doing more frequent cleaning, things have less of a chance to become big messes.
Again, highly unlikely.
The best idea was Do one room at a time. It’s overwhelming to think I have to clean an entire house. Maybe if I focused on one room at a time, I might stay motivated and accomplish something.
In the meantime, I think I’ll draw a happy face on the spot that I’ll dust…next week.
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
First, let me say I’m not a Grinch. I have done Christmas above and beyond for nearly a quarter of a century for my children. I have hosted Christmas cookie exchanges, decorated trees fit for a Fifth Avenue shop window, dressed the dog in holiday attire, baked cookies for Santa, and wrestled holiday lights into the bushes. There’s not much Christmas I haven’t done.
Just not this year.
My children are older now and celebrate the holidays in their own homes (in other states.) Yes, it was magical when my kids would stumble down the stairs on Christmas morning and I’d watch their amazed little faces glow as they discovered the gifts under the lit tree. I have beautiful memories of those moments and I will cherish them forever.
However, this year I hung brand new stockings on the mantel – without embroidered names – and erected a 4-foot tree instead of a towering one. I’ll spend Christmas in my sister’s home as a guest rather than a host. I feel a different kind of anticipation: Spending Christmas with the person I shared a room with when we were small, the sibling who raised her family in another part of the country (and abroad) while I was busy raising mine. That’s the calmer, peaceful holiday that I’m cherishing this year.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas, too.
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
There is a proven way to help children learn and it’s free: Read aloud to them.
Young children who have lots of stories read to them enter kindergarten as much as 14 months ahead in language and pre-reading skills. According to educators, while listening to stories, children learn a more sophisticated vocabulary than they are likely to hear elsewhere, while also picking up grammar, syntax and general knowledge. The more children under five are read to, the richer and deeper their language capacities become (with positive effects later in English, math and other subjects.)
Even better, it works for students 12 to 13 years old, too!
In a study lead by the University of Sussex, 20 English teachers read novels to poor-to-average students for three months. Morale and test results soared. Children who once hated English lessons were practically racing into the classroom to find out what happened next. When given reading comprehension tests, average readers made 8.5 months of progress while poorer students made 16 months of progress.
The simple act of a teacher reading aloud a few times a week produced students who were happier, more motivated and more capable academically.
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is Past President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
I’ve always envisioned being buried in a cavernous mausoleum, with a large bar and seating area. (That way I know my kids would visit.) However, I just learned of a new option: reefball burials.
A “reefball” is a large mass of rough concrete in the shape of a ball. Holes are deliberately left in it to allow fish and other creatures to use it for feeding, security and development. The cremated remains or “cremains” of an individual are incorporated into an environmentally safe cement mixture and installed in a marine environment that can benefit from an artificial reef. (I wouldn’t be fish food.)
Imagine – a final resting place that helps restore marine environments and establishes new habitats for fish and other sea life. A Sarasota Company, Eternal Reefs, is the only firm in Southwest Florida currently providing such a service. There are more than 750,000 reef balls in oceans around the world, according to the company.
It’s nice to think that, even after my death, I could support marine life long into the future. Plus, my kids love boating, so maybe they would still visit…
Renee Garrisonis the award-winning author of two Young Adult books, “The Anchor Clankers,”and“Anchored Together.”She is President of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
Some people snoop in their friends’ medicine cabinet. I prefer to peek at their bookshelves.
If you want to understand someone’s true personality, take a look at his or her library. The books that they read offer a psychological profile of their tastes, interests and values. I believe book-centered rooms are the ultimate escape, the place to head for to think and read, regenerate your spirit and ideas.
· The library is a room of secrets. Add a hidden compartment to your bookcase, something Mr. Holmes would approve of.
· Books you love to read, plan to reread or need for reference, should never be out of reach.
· Standing on chairs or beds is no substitute for a sturdy, stable library ladder.
· Two comfortable chairs and good lighting are the most important elements of a well-stocked library.
The one thing I remember most about the south of France is the fragrance of it. Inhaling deeply on a stone terrace in Nice, I discovered the air was scented with lavender and maybe a bit of eucalyptus that grew nearby. It was amazing and left me utterly relaxed! I’ve never found anything like it in a bottle – and I’ve spent a decade searching.
How can simply sniffing something in the air have such an impact?
As The Mayo Clinic points out, some studies have suggested that aromatherapy can benefit our sleep patterns, help us cope with anxiety and depression, and improve the quality of life for those with chronic health conditions and pain. Avid aromatherapy fans use essential oils for a variety of purposes:
Improving mood
Providing calmness
Clearing sinuses
Reducing stress
Setting a tone of a room (think: relaxing or energetic)
Scent diffusion alternative to candle-burning
According to scientists, when we enjoy what we smell, a domino effect happens because of how the body is wired. Enjoyment of the scent helps the pupils to dilate, and the body will produce chemicals that can encourage the smooth muscle of blood vessels to relax. That’s when your blood pressure lowers, and heart rate slows a little, which is a signal of calmness and relaxation.
A friend (who knows nothing of my quest to duplicate the fragrance of Nice) gave me a candle called RELAX, which is scented with lavender and cedar. I light it while I’m writing and editing. While it may not be identical to the south of France, I’m getting close.