Aging parents and their pets

Tags

aging, Elderly, Family, Home, Homeowner, Memories, Parents, pets

A stray Jack Russell terrier wandered into my mother-in-law’s driveway one Christmas and quickly made a home in her heart. Mom loved having “a furry child” by her side to keep her company throughout the day. She named the dog Joy, which is exactly what the animal brought for more than a decade, comforting Mom through the death of two husbands.
Joy – like most cats and dogs – was very in tune with her owners’ feelings. Pets sense when someone is upset or unhappy and are excellent at providing instant comfort.
She also was a great protector, barking at any perceived threat. Having a dog made my mother-in-law feel safer in her home and may have allowed her to stay there, longer.
Studies have found that owning pets provides health benefits, too, including decreased blood pressure and cholesterol. Even heart attack survivors are more likely to live longer if they have a pet to keep them company. Joy motivated Mom to go outside for walks, which also afforded her a social life as she chatted with other pet parents in the neighborhood.
Yet in addition to being a companion, pets are a responsibility. So when her beloved Joy recently died, my mother-in-law decided not to get another dog. Though having the house to herself seems a little daunting, the 91-year-old admits that she can no longer care for an animal.
Sadly, I am relieved.
Pets need as much love and attention as a child, and eventually that may be too much for an elderly parent to manage. What happens when a pet outlives its owner? Who inherits the animal? Shelters are filled with the sad, sweet faces of pets whose owners passed away. How do adult children plan for the inevitable, with pets and aging parents?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Comfy on a couch

Tags

Architecture, Community, decorating, Design, Family, Florida, Home, Homeowner, Houses, Humor, Memories

When you live a short drive from “Mickey and Minnie’s house” in Florida, you have overnight guests at least once a month. In the event of a big crowd, a few may even stay on your couch. Here are a few ways to make guests feel comfortable and welcome, even when they’re bunking on a sofa bed:

1. Replace end tables with dressers: Being able to unpack is key to feeling at home. To avoid mysterious piles of clothing in your living area, use a small dresser in place of a traditional end table to give guests space for their things.
2. Clear out closet space: Luggage can take up valuable real estate in tight quarters, so making room for your guest’s luggage in your closet helps both you and them feel better about sharing a small space.
3. Arrange an amenity area: Whether it’s your coffee table or end table, make sure your guests have useful items such as a small fan, an alarm clock and a table lamp within arm’s reach.
4. Stage a plug-in hot spot: Set up a designated charging area for phones, laptops and tablets. That way, guests can recharge at the end of a long day without having to hunt for outlets. Don’t forget to leave your WiFi password.
5. Provide bedding storage: Carve out a place where bedding can be stored during the day so that your sofa can be used while you are entertaining your guests. Try a chest, closet or storage ottoman.
6. Stock the liquor cabinet: Your guests won’t mind their accommodations at all.

 

Look for more inspirational home ideas in Renee’s book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” available on amazon.com

The challenge of downsizing

Tags

aging, children, Community, Family, Home, Houses, Life, lifestyle, thoughts

If you read the definition of “Down·size  (doun’siz’)” in the dictionary, it sounds easy: To reduce in number or size. To simplify (one’s life, for instance), as by reducing the number of one’s possessions. To become smaller in size by reductions in personnel or assets.
But for me, “downsize” means both a logistical and emotional challenge. It isn’t simply about getting rid of physical things: It’s also about releasing the emotional attachment that comes with them.
It recently took an entire month for me to move from one house to another. Children’s report cards, letters and photos require sorting and savoring. Friends who sell large homes and move to smaller ones appear equally unable (or unwilling) to dispose of their memories. We’re all saddened by adult children who are dismissive of childhood trophies and memorabilia that don’t blend with their current decorating scheme. We know one day, they will regret it.
When my friends ask, I offer one piece of advice: Get outside help.
I turned to my sister when the reality of needing to downsize finally settled in. A pragmatist, she honed her skills with a move to Brussels, Belgium followed by the sale of a large home in McLean, Virginia before downsizing to a townhouse in Annapolis, Maryland.
She ruthlessly attacked my closets and garage with the empathy of an avenging warlord.
Guided by the mantra, “When in doubt, throw it out,” we packed 14 carloads of household items and clothing – including my 1977 boxed wedding gown – and donated everything to the Neighborhood Center of West Volusia County. (The organization provides emergency and transitional housing for families in need.)
When we were finished, I felt no regrets – only relief. Actually, I felt a bit of satisfaction, too: The manager of The Neighborhood Center thrift store confided that our donations had boosted their revenues for more than a month!

In this case, less is definitely more.

Check out Renee’s book, “Sweet Beams: Inspiring Everyone Who Lives Under a New Roof,” available on amazon.com

An Illuminating Hobby

Tags

Architecture, Christmas, Christmas light show, Christmas songs, decorating, Design, Holiday, Home, House, lights

Jim Cheslin estimates it takes 200 hours to set up his annual Christmas Lights display.
That sounds about right, since it includes more than 13,000 lights on the roof, over 9,600 lights on the walls, over 6,200 lights on the windows, over 5,800 lights on the columns and over 3,400 lights on the palm trees.
“It is a labor of love,” admits Jim, a technology engineer for VISA, who started the process on September 20 and finished November 22.
Indeed, his Florida neighbors have loved his Christmas light show for the past eight years.
“It’s gotten bigger every year,” says Jim, who only needs a 28-foot ladder and partner Alex Laneaux to install it.
On a recent afternoon, the third garage bay of the 3,100-square-foot home was converted to a staging area: 25,000 feet of lights – 1,200 separate light strings – sorted by color and folded with zip ties, lay stored in clear plastic bins.
“We use 13,750 feet of extension cords,” Jim says with a grin. “That translates to 375 separate extension cords.”
Neighbors suggested “premiering” the Light Show on Thanksgiving Eve and the resulting crowds have been huge. Their street is blocked and full of people. Children line up along the curb, while adults bring chairs or sit in golf carts.
This year, the lights are choreographed to 30 Christmas songs which can be heard from speakers mounted above his front door, as well as a local FM station (which broadcasts 300 feet, for spectators who remain seated in their cars.) The show is run on a computer using Hardware and Software from http://www.lightorama.com.
“The show runs every night from 6 until 9 o’clock and on Christmas Eve, until 1:00 a.m.,” Jim says. “If I see people out there, I can extend the show. If nobody is watching, I can turn it off.”
The 53,000 L.E.D. (Light Emitting Diodes) lights use 90 percent less power than traditional lights. That means the cost of electricity to run the 2013 show was about $1.25 per day.
How much does the couple have invested in their decorations?
“A lot,” Jim says, laughing. “Over five figures. I’d be embarrassed to admit how much I’ve spent on this hobby.”

Photo by Susan Torregrosa/Studio T Photography

The Entryway

Tags

Architecture, Build, Construction, Design, environment, Home, Homeowner, Houses, real-estate, Residence, Shelter, style

Though you live in your backyard, the world inevitably beats a path to your front door. Well-designed entryways can offer, privacy, light, charm and character to your home – without breaking style or the budget.
A new door, some well-placed windows or a fresh coat of paint can work wonders on a tired façade or an out-of-date entry. According to architect Richard Hartmann, “The ambiance of your home actually starts outside. It’s a whole sequence of events. Meandering through landscaping on a slightly curved path, for example, enhances the experience. ”

Here are a few tips for adding style:

* Add window boxes. They add color to a plain exterior when they’re overflowing with plants or flowers.
* Replace old hardware with brass numbers, handles, a mailbox or kick plate. Ceramic or hand-painted house numbers are good alternatives.
* Add a new front door, sidelights or transom. If you can’t afford to replace the door, add decorative molding around the one you have.
* Use clay pots or sculpture to spark an uninspired entry.
* Add an awning over doors or windows. With Florida’s seasonal rain showers, it’s practical as well as pretty.
* Add carriage lights on either side of the front door or low-voltage path lights along the walkway. They can help bring your best foot forward.

Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof! is available on amazon.com.

Early to bed, early to rise…

Tags

bed, diary, Home, mood, scientists, sleep, tired, vacation

This morning I was awakened at 4:30 by an elderly dog with a bladder problem. As I write this, I know that my energy will evaporate by mid-afternoon and my ability to write coherently will cease.
I’ve read about research that indicates getting too little sleep causes cognitive and health declines as well as weight gain. (Thank God wine and chocolate have nothing to do with it…)
I also remember my mother insisting that I needed 8 hours of sleep every night. But doctors have learned that sleep needs vary between individuals. According to recent studies people sleep 6 hours, 31 minutes on weekdays and 7 hours, 22 minutes on weekends.
However, a scientist at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine says getting just 20 or 30 minutes less than the minimum recommendation of seven hours can slow cognitive speed and increase attention lapses. Huh?
How much sleep do YOU need?
It’s kind of easy to figure it out.
Experts say we can figure out our optimal amount of sleep in a trial of three days or a week – ideally while on vacation. Don’t use an alarm clock. Go to sleep when you get tired. Avoid too much caffeine or alcohol. And stay off electronic devices for a couple of hours before going to bed. During the trial, track your sleep with a diary or a device that records your actual sleep time. If you feel refreshed and awake during the day, you’ve probably discovered your optimal sleep time.
Congratulations – now I’m going back to bed.

A dim view of evening meals

Tags

chandelier, dining room, Home, Homeowner, House, interior design, New Home

Originally designed to hold a number of candles, chandeliers were suspended from the ceiling to reduce the hazard of fire. It’s easy to see how they became the focal point of many rooms – in particular, the dining room.
According to interior designer Alice MacCullough, chandeliers also create ambiance at mealtimes for relaxed conversation.
“The success of this depends on diners being able to see each other properly across the table, without being dazzled or thrown into gloom,” she says.
MacCullough suggests a pendant light suspended from the ceiling, that is just above the eye level of diners to eliminate glare. She also recommends adding a pair of candlestick lamps on the buffet or sconces on the wall.
“Even a torchiere in the corner is nice,” she says. “Lighting is the single most important part of any interior design.”

* Over a dining room table, the bottom of the chandelier should be 30 inches above the table and 12 inches narrower (6 inches on either side) so people won’t bump their heads when rising from their chair.
* If a dining room’s ceiling height is more than 8 feet, raise the chandelier 3 inches for each additional foot of ceiling height.
* Light from a chandelier should not be the only source of illumination – a mistake often seen in dining rooms. Other light sources might include recessed down lights in the ceiling, wall sconces or floor lamps.
* The rule of thumb for a chandelier‘s proper size when not hung over a table: It can be in inches what the diagonal of the room is in feet.
* Positioning a chandelier off-center above a buffet against the wall will make a small dining room appear larger.
* Always install a dimmer switch to control mood and atmosphere.

“Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof,” is available on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/1490592652/

Remembering mom

Tags

arlington national cemetery, cremation, Family, Home, jewelry, Mother, Mother's Day, motherhood, urn

May is the month we remember our mothers – whether they’re living or not.
My mother died in May, 2007. She rests with my father, at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington D.C. At the time of her death, many active duty military personnel needed burial, too, so our family waited three months for a “widow’s interment.”
That delay caused my sister and I to decide on cremation (simply because an urn is much easier to store in your guest room than a body in a casket.)

While selecting the container that would be buried at Arlington, I purchased a piece of urn jewelry – specifically, a necklace with a small compartment designed to hold the ashes of a loved one. According to the ads, “Cremation jewelry allows you to hold that special someone close to you.”
All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

However, when the gold teardrop pendant arrived, it required a special tool to open the small compartment – something neither I, nor the undertaker, owned. Which is why I arrived at an elegant jewelry store clutching a tiny bag of my mother’s ashes in one hand and a gold necklace in the other.
The jeweler maintained his composure when I made my request. With a bit of flourish, he unfolded a black velvet cloth on the glass counter and produced something resembling a dental tool. After unscrewing the back of the pendant, he removed a wire twist-tie from the top of the baggie, poured a bit out and began tapping her inside.

“I’ve never been asked to do this before,” he admitted solemnly, as a bead of sweat formed on his forehead. I wanted to say something reassuring, but quite honestly, nothing came to mind. After all, I’d never done it either.

Unfortunately, there was a bit more of Mom than there was space inside the necklace. So as the jeweler screwed the back onto the pendant, I did what anyone does automatically – without thinking – when they are faced with dust at home: I blew it off the glass.

Instantly horrified, I watched the particles float to the carpet.

The giggle in my throat – the kind that usually starts in a church pew and erupts into uncontrollable fits of laughter – began.
I’m not sure how long we cackled and chortled, or if the jeweler stepped out for a drink as soon as I left………..
However, I am certain of this: My mother would appreciate even a part of her spending eternity in a jewelry store.

Happy Mother’s Day.

The home library

Tags

Architecture, books, Build, decorating, environment, Home, Houses, interior design, library

The home library links us with the past, present, and future in a way that is portable, affordable and aesthetically pleasing.

If you want to understand someone’s true personality, take a look at his or her library. Just as a peek into a person’s medicine cabinet can reveal a great deal about their medical history, the books that they read offer a psychological profile of their tastes, interests and values. Book-centered rooms are the ultimate escape on a winter’s day, the place to head for to think and read, regenerate your spirit and ideas.

· The library is a room of secrets. Add a hidden compartment to your bookcase, something Mr. Holmes would approve of.

· Books you love to read, plan to reread or need for reference, should never be out of reach.

· Standing on chairs or beds is no substitute for a sturdy, stable library ladder.

· Two comfortable chairs and good lighting are the most important elements of a well-stocked library.

Excerpted from “Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!”available on amazon.com

Better than a lien

Tags

Architecture, Build, Construction, Home, Homeowner, Houses, New Home, real-estate

Life is more complex today. In the past to ensure payment for work, masons secretly would place a glass pane inside the chimney flue to prevent its use. Only after they received payment would the mason climb to the top of the chimney, drop a brick and break the glass.

Excerpted from Sweet Beams: Inspiring everyone who lives under a new roof!